Saturday, March 31, 2007 . 5:50 PM

I am-John Clare

i am – yet what I am, none cares or knows;
My friends forsake me like a memory lost:
I am the self-consumer of my woes –
They rise and vanish in oblivion’s host
Like shadows in love-frenzied stifled throes –
And yet I am and live – like vapours tossed

Into the nothingness of scorn and noise,
Into the living sea of waking dreams
Where there is neither sense of life or joys
But the vast shipwreck of my life’s esteems;
Even the dearest that I love the best
Are strange – nay, rather, stranger than the rest.

I long for scenes where man hath never trod,
A place where a woman never smiled or wept,
There to abide to my Creator, God,
And sleep as I in childhood sweetly slept,
Untroubling and untroubled where I lie,
The grass below – above, the vaulted sky.

(I am- yet what i am, none cares or knows
->living in my own lie, desire
answer to my own woes,
no one can help me only to myself.
friends come and go
->only there to give support
they can even be strangers at time
''though humiliation and noise succumbs me,
its nothing compared to my self-esteem.''
in reality no sense of joys - sadness, empty
but i'm there to overcome - finding ways
the one i love, adore, there to accompany me when i'm alone but its like a statue
->not much help, redundant.
dreaming to go to a place where there is no drama, nothing but being my real self
living like a child peacefully.
no problems to face, think or worry about.

complicated life vs calmness